The problem with a lot of abusive relationships is that the “abused” becomes unaware that he or she is "in an abusive relationship. They become completely unaware of the power dynamic within the relationship and how it is being used to control them." - good article linked
This is a perfect and almost exact description of two sociopaths I was unfortunate enough to have known. One even went so far as to change his name. These are the types of individuals who become involved in gang-stalking and strategically destroying other human beings. Not surprisingly, these traits are common in both politicians and murderers. This is how they operate...
4 Tips to Surviving a Relationship with a Person with Narcissistic Personality Disorder by CLEARVIEWTREATMENT in FAMILY & FRIENDS, RELATED CONDITIONS, TREATMENT & THERAPY - (It's a Borderline Personality Disorder, & The first in the Dark Triad. ~Wild)
Disarming The Narcissist - I, Tufoot57, have not read this book yet. But I strongly feel that the best thing to do for yourself is to get out. Get out as fast as you can. Don't let the years go by...it only gets harder. Don't let your sympathy build up for him. He's not worth it. It has been 23 years for me and I am so broken, so self-hateful, so suicidal...I don't know what God's purpose was for putting him into my life but it destroyed the good me. I don't plan on reading the book.