Deep breath, then two more, nice and slow, and be prepared to start writing. Answers will come. When you relax and relax and relax, your subconscious mind can speak. And you will know what you are afraid of, what you are avoiding. Worry always has a deeper cause (emotion). You are really angry at your circumstances or a person. Or sad.
Awareness. Knowing whom I AM. Knowing why events concerning me happen when the aftermath from mine and/or another's perspective asked "who the hell was THAT?" To know WHY is the beginning of knowing WHOM.