Miss you George!


Miss you George!

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Question Everything

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One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.

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Life is a series of dogs.

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“You know who I pray to? Joe Pesci. Two reasons: First of all, I think he's a good actor, okay? To me, that counts. Second, he looks like a guy who can get things done. Joe Pesci doesn't fuck around. In fact, Joe Pesci came through on a couple of things that God was having trouble with.

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Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town.

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I love it in a movie when they throw a guy off a cliff. I love it even when it's not a movie. No, especially when it's not a movie.

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esquire.com

I went through the usual stages: imp, rascal, scalawag, whippersnapper. And, of course, after that it's just a small step to full-blown sociopath.

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If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten.

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And although I broke a lot of laws as a teenager, I straightened out immediately upon turning eighteen, when I realized the state had a legal right to execute me.

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I am a personal optimist but a skeptic about all else. What may sound to some like anger is really nothing more than sympathetic contempt. I view my species with a combination of wonder and pity, and I root for its destruction. And please don't confuse my point of view with cynicism; the real cynics are the ones who tell you everything's gonna be all right.

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Don't confuse me with those who cling to hope. I enjoy describing how things are, I have no interest in how they 'ought to be.' And I certainly have no interest in fixing them. I sincerely believe that if you think there's a solution, you're part of the problem. My motto: Fuck Hope!

capable of change

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I, myself, have killed six people. All random, all undetected, no way to trace them to me. And, let me tell you, there's nothin' like it. It's a great feeling. Yeah, I know, you're thinking. 'Aw, he's a comedian. He's just sayin' that stuff.' Good. That's exactly what I want you to think.

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No matter how you care to define it, I do not identify with the local group. Planet, species, race, nation, state, religion, party, union, club, association, neighborhood improvement committee; I have no interest in any of it. I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loathe and despise the groups they identify with and belong to.

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It's important in life if you don't give a shit. It can help you a lot.

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People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don't care what people think.

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If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn’t the whole airplane made out of that stuff?

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When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to hear '27 months.' 'He's two' will do just fine. He's not a cheese. And I didn't really care in the first place.

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Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.

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If it’s true that our species is alone in the universe, then I’d have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.

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Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups

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I've begun worshipping the sun for a number of reasons. First of all, unlike some other gods I could mention, I can see the sun. And the things it brings me are quite apparent all the time: heat, light, food, and a lovely day. There's no mystery, no one asks for money, I don't have to dress up, and there's no boring pageantry. And interestingly enough, I have found that the prayers I offer to the sun and the prayers I formerly offered to God are all answered at about the same 50% rate.

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If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

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Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bull shit they teach you in school.

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I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, 'Where's the self-help section?' She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

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Religion is like a pair of shoes.....Find one that fits for you, but don't make me wear your shoes.

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