I'm somewhat skeptical you're laughing out loud as much as you claim
I hope the weather's nice during your commencement ceremony since it's the last time you'll ever be outdoors during the workweek.
May your college memories last as long as your student loan payments
Sorry I didn't respond to the work email you sent me while I was out living my life.
I'm glad I don't watch Game of Thrones so I don't have to talk to my coworkers about Game of Thrones.
I still don't understand what a wine stopper is for.
I'd love to come see your new place if there's wine inside it.
Congratulations on reaching an age where you wake up at the time you used to go to sleep on a Saturday.
Last night I dreamt I finally got enough sleep.
The warm weather means it's finally socially acceptable to eat as much ice cream as I do all year.
If I'm to be forced to work with a bunch of adult-sized children, it should be reasonable that I also get to fingerpaint and take naps.
Digital Hoarding: Instantly pinning something on Pinterest because I fear I will never find it again. Then never looking at it.
I want to be with you until our clothes are considered retro.
Navigating through hot sand is the most exercise I've gotten all summer.
Rest assured that your recent accomplishments at work have gone largely unnoticed.
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Whoever is my Secret Santa should please contact me about the brand of whiskey I prefer to hide in my desk.
Let's have a movie night at home so we can avoid people in the theater who act like they're at home.
I need to cancel our plans to avoid show spoilers and because I don't want to leave the house.
I miss the days of Sarah Palin being the scariest Republican candidate in history
Thanks for posting a year-end recap of all the reasons I should unfriend you.
Just a heads up that you really don't need to worry about getting me a holiday gift if you already bought me an engagement ring.