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Oh I'm sorry, I didn't realize that you're an expert on my life and how I should live it. Please continue while I take notes.

Oh I'm sorry, I didn't realize that you're an expert on my life and how I should live it. Please continue while I take notes.

Religion is like a penis, it's fine to have one and be proud of it, but when you take it out and wave it in my face, that's when we have a problem.

Religion is like a penis, it's fine to have one and be proud of it, but when you take it out and wave it in my face, that's when we have a problem.

At my funeral, when they're lowering me into the ground, I demand they play.. 'Drop it like it's hot'.

At my funeral, when they're lowering me into the ground, I demand they play.. 'Drop it like it's hot'.

Jokes on them, I don't do it I just pin it for future references in case I ever get the urge!

Jokes on them, I don't do it I just pin it for future references in case I ever get the urge!

funny and true!

What Age do You Tell Your Kids about Santa Claus

I legit do this whenever I send a text when I'm at home...

23 Things That Suck About Living In A Small Town In Rural America

I'm having fruit salad for dinner. Well, it's mostly grapes actually. Ok, all grapes. Fermented grapes. I'm having wine for dinner.

I'm having fruit salad for dinner. Well, it's mostly grapes actually. Ok, all grapes. Fermented grapes. I'm having wine for dinner.

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