Quote 49 of 365 for 2015: "Happiness is a choice, not a result. Nothing will make you happy until you choose to be happy. No person will make you happy unless you decide to be happy. Your happiness will not come to you. It can only come from you."
And they DO find out on their own. Just this last weekend, my adult son told me "Mom, I never remember you bad-mouthing my dad and you could have". It was a HUGE comfort to me to hear that. I always wanted to make sure my boys formed THEIR OWN opinions.