My LOM Posts
Sun and Moon Mother
Children are unique individuals
If we believe this narrative, then we shift from trying to control them or manipulate them into conformity, into teaching and guiding them to become fully themselves. We address their particular needs, we teach them to navigate life from relationship, rather than dominance.
Creating a New Family Narrative
t is not by changing our behavior, though certainly it will change too. But it is to rewrite the new story to include the outcomes we want. It is to begin a narrative that prizes sovereignty, that is based in care, that shows us what is important in hard times, and articulates maps of togetherness. This is not easy, it will not always be beautiful, but it will always be worthwhile.
LANDSCAPE OF MOTHERS
Parenting books often go after teaching parents strategies for changing a child's behavior to meet the expectations of the adults. But this is asking the child to use willpower and the desire to make adults comfortable to control their emotions. What if we considered meeting our distressed child as a helper and a guide, instead? What if we approached with curiosity and care? If we saw ourselves as a support system, how would we approach our children differently?
Dreaming of the future
When we are breaking family patterns of harm, we often know what we don't want, but it's difficult to define what we DO want because it's unfamiliar. Our dreams are powerful indicators of where we are headed, what we want, and what we intend. Let yourself dream, it is a form of planning. You can define and work toward that desired family life.
What is your natural pace?
Our days are full of urgency that keeps us moving as quickly as we possibly can. What are we missing when we habituate to such a fast pace? We lose our connection to anything that moves slower… the trees, flowers, seasons, and our own internal world. We did not evolve with this pace… we are not made for it. What could be in our awareness if we slowed down to a natural pace? How fast or slow would that be? What would it feel like to your nervous system?
There is no perfect parenting
It’s more important that our children learn about living and relationships from us than it is that we follow some “perfect” parenting paradigm or parent our kids toward a predetermined outcome. There is no perfect parenting. We can only build a strong relationship with our children based on care and respect, let them see us modeling the kind of behavior we want for and from them.
Mothering Is Not Gender Specific
Where do we make Mothering something only female folks can do? Who benefits when we lay those kinds of behaviors on a group of people based on their gender? What could we gain if we learned to Mother ourselves as well as others?
Our Narrative Frames Our Understanding
If we want to change our family legacy of harm we must learn to inhabit a different perspective than the one that supports behaviors of harm. Changing our own behavior without changing the underlying narrative isn’t enough. If we don’t change the narrative that supported harm it is inevitable that the harm will still happen. That we will respond from those old perspectives and narratives when we are tired, overwhelmed, or stressed.
What if we told a different story?
Why are people irritated when babies cry? Why is the response to a tantrum so often anger? Why do we think teenagers are lazy or sassy? We feel locked in adversarial relationships with our kids. In these narratives the struggles are presupposed and appear inevitable. But are they? What if we told a story of our children coming to us whole. They have come to express themselves and to learn how to navigate the human world. How does this narrative set us up to relate to them differently?
Progression of inner experience to outer experience
Our family of origin created a belief system in us about what we deserve, what needs we’re “allowed” to have, and what behaviors to get them met are acceptable. This influence is still present when we grow up and want to change the patterns to include more caring, more kindness, and more support. Where do we interrupt this pattern so that we can be the parents (and citizens and friends and beloveds) that we want to be?
Let nature help you find your way back to yourself, to renew, to reinvigorate. This 5-day email course contains small prompts that can be done in 10 minutes a day to reconnect you with the natural world. This offering is for moms who are trying to mindfully raise children because the world needs more emotionally connected and thoughtful people. Moms who are choosing to repair their family line rather than repeat harmful patterns. Course begins May 24, 2021 $20 for the 5 days of email prompts
Create what you imagine
When we are breaking family patterns of harm, we often know what we don't want, but it's difficult to define what we DO want because it's unfamiliar. Landscape of Mothers helps you begin to define and work toward that desired family life.