Mother Fucking Homemaking

I AM HASHING ALL THE TAGS
49 Pins
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11y
By
JJ Keith
Festive Holiday Decor Inspiration
JJ Keith
#Christmas is fucking great. BUT CHRISTMAS DOESN'T HAPPEN IN SEPTEMBER. Chill the fuck out, #Target. We can buy that crap in December as nature intended.
Actually...it is always the first tree up and the last tree down! | Xmas tree, Christmas traditions, Homemade christmas
I don't like too much tacky shit on the family #tree. That's why my kids get their own damn tree where they can hang whatever fucking monstrosities they see fit. #WEALLWIN
If you never take #party #decorations down YOU NEVER HAVE TO PUT THEM UP AGAIN. #alwaysbelazy #alwaysbejaunty | Christmas lights, Round decor, Greatful
JJ Keith
If you never take #party #decorations down YOU NEVER HAVE TO PUT THEM UP AGAIN. #alwaysbelazy #alwaysbejaunty
JJ Keith | Build a picnic table, Picnic table, Yard
JJ Keith
Sure, you could get all fancy in the yard or you could eat on a regular fucking #picnictable and pretend that you're camping. #PICNICS ALL THE TIME!
JJ Keith | Home diy, Decor inspiration, Homemaking
JJ Keith
My children live to ruin shit, especially video game shit, SO I LOCK IT THE FUCK UP. #donttouchdiscslikethat #stopsuckingonthecontroller #justdonttouchthepowerbutton #itsnotatoyokaywellitisatoybutnotforyoutoplaywithlikethat
#CookieButter Delight
#CookieButter: fuck yeah! #eatitstraightfromthespoon #nowaitfuckthespoonjusteatitwithyourhands
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I know. Pumpkin patches are really cute. But holy fuck are pumpkins a lot cheaper at Trader Joe's! Bonus: NO FUCKING SCARECROWS. What is their problem, anyway?
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JJ Keith
#SPLASHPADS FTW! Suck it, drowning.
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I #fucking love #ChristmasLights. BUT! I fucking hate hanging #ChristmasLights. The solution?Cafe-style lights -- 5 nails and #DONE.
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JJ Keith
Put some #books up on your wall and then rotate that shit up SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO GET TIRED OF LOOKING AT THE SAME PICTURES. (Alternatively captioned: do a better fucking job than me matching paint colors.) #goldenbooks #rainbowumbrellaFTW!
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Pin on Required reading
Yup, I wrote a motherfucking book. Get my tips for what to do at a Pinterest-perfect party (devour that delicious hand-molded octopus lollipop, drink whatever is in your mason jar, and do so with zeal, and rejoice that some people are willing/able to do this shit, even if you're not) and so much more! Remember: being a parent is awesome, even if you don't hand-embroider your baby's cloth diapers. P.S. Coming soon as an Audible audio download so multitaskers rejoice! #FuckYeah!
Can We Talk About Cloth Diapers for a Sec? | Cloth diapers, Diaper, Used strollers
Can We Talk About Cloth Diapers for a Sec?
Okay. I get cloth diapers. They're diapers made out of fucking cloth. Duh. BUT WHY DO CLOTH DIAPERING SUPPORT GROUPS EXIST?! Click the pic to go to my HuffPo article about #clothdiapering.
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Like this board? You may enjoy my fucking book, coming this September from Skyhorse Publishing. Are you an Aussie and you like this book? Look for "Stop Reading Baby Books" from Black Inc. Press, also in September. Same shit, but more words and fewer pictures.
Uses for pumped milk: Feeding a baby AND THAT'S IT | I laughed, Funny, Laugh
JJ Keith
Uses for pumped milk: Feeding a baby AND THAT'S IT
What can I say? My family is comprised of crafting geniuses. | Haunted gingerbread house, Gingerbread house kits, Halloween funny
What can I say? My family is comprised of crafting geniuses.
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