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Jokes

Funny jokes

Wake up call A man and his wife were having some problems and were giving each other the silent treatment. The next week, the man realized ...

Pet Store A lady was walking down the street to work and she saw a parrot on a perch in front of a pet store. The parrot said to her, “Hey ...

85 Years Old The old lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship holding her hat on tight so that it would not blow off in the wind...

Always on Call A doctor answers his phone and hears the familiar voice of a colleague on the other end of the line. ‘We need a fourth for ...

Sarcastic Remarks For Work And your crybaby whinny opinion would be...? Hello New Office This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent...

An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He finally went to a doctor, and was fitted with excellent new hea...

Kiss At a dinner party, the speaker who was the guest of honor, was about to deliver his speech when his wife sitting at the other end of t...

Daddy’s Hair Little Johnny was eating breakfast one morning and got to thinking about things. “Mommy, mommy, why has daddy got so few hairs...

Dancing Duck A circus owner walked into a bar to see everyone crowded about a table watching a little show. On the table was an upside down...

Working in The Garden A prisioner in jail received a letter from his wife: "I have decided to plant some lettuce in the back garden. When ...

Saving Life A college physics professor was explaining a particularly complicated concept to his class when a pre-med student interrupted h...

Golden Saloon A guy comes home completely drunk one night. He lurches through the door and is met by his scowling wife, who is most definit...

Scared Dad Two kids are arguing over whose father is the biggest scaredy-cat. The first kid says, "My dad is so scared that when lightning...

Directions Pete and Larry had not seen each other in many years. Now they had a long talk trying to fill in the gap of those years by telli...

The Peeing Accident A man on a construction site 30 floors up had to go to the bathroom. He approached his foreman and told him that he was...

The Ring An older, white haired man walked into a jewelry store one Friday evening with a beautiful young gal at his side. He told the jew...

Strangers In The Night A married couple is sleeping when the phone rings at 3 a.m. The wife picks up the phone and, after a few seconds, re...

Sticky Hair? Rabbit is hopping along the forest one day, when he comes upon Bear taking a dump. Bear says, "Rabbit, do you have a problem w...

Getting a Cake Little Johnny walked into the kitchen, saw his mother making a cake and announced, "I'll be playing in my room for the next ...

Bill & Moe Bill and Moe had started with only five hundred dollars between them, but they had built up a computer business with sales in th...

Polishing Apples A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money. The old guy fingered his expensive wool vest and said, "Well, so...

Honey Pie After a nice dinner the two couples got up from the table. The ladies went into the kitchen and the men went into the family room...

The Auction One day a man went to an auction. While there, he bid on a parrot. He really wanted this bird, so he got caught up in the biddi...

Oops A doctor is going round the ward with a nurse and they come to the first bed where the chap is laying half dead. "Did you give this ma...

The Statue - A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door. "Hurry!" she said. "Stand in the corner." ...