Such a sad truth. So many times I wish there was enough strength and hope in me to drown out the pain for anyone feeling suicidal. I don't want to sound like a PSA, but I want you to know that if you're hurting, there's help. Don't be afraid to call 1-800-273-8255 and talk with someone. We're in this fight with you. You can win.
If you can't forgive others then do not expect others to forgive you. More importantly, read Mark 11:26 and let that sink in. "But if ye do not forgive, neither will your Father which is in Heaven forgive you." In other words, you will be forgiven by the same measure that YOU forgive. Remember, you will only give account for your own actions and not the actions of others. Do not hold grudges and allow actions of others to interfere with your walk with God.