I always knew that one day you'd make someone really happy. I always knew that someone was me. I only wish a thousand times over I had never told you that. Maybe then you would have believed that someone was me as well.
... Incredibly difficult to change your self-talk. It will take work but my goodness is it ever worth it!! Stick with it for a year, just try to give yourself grace and have compassion. A dip comes... gently say 'Oh course you would go back to old patterns, that doesn't mean you are that old person still, you are growing and are brave for continuing to fight.'