Before calling me, ask yourself "Is this textable?" YES! I hate talking on the phone.

haha everyday...

Ever get to work and immediately just be like, 'Fuck this, I'm out! Basically every day lol

Welcome!

This is so my husband and I lol. Sorry that most of my hilarious jokes are borderline inappropriate.

So true

Our friendship is one part 'encouraging poor decisions' and one part 'everyone else is stupid.' Amanda smith this is us!

yupp

Brain before going to sleep: "Let's think about every mistake you've ever made, shall we?"

Truth

Free, Somewhat Topical Ecard: My level of sarcasm is to a point where I don't even know if I'm kidding or not. Just kidding.

Funny Workplace Ecard: People think that just because you tolerate them at work, it makes you friends.. NO, BITCH! I'm just trying to keep my job!

Oh the language -- I have a different choice word for my "favorites" ------ Funny Workplace Ecard: People think that just because you tolerate them at work, it makes you friends. I'm just trying to keep my job!

So true... LOL

Someday I'll be a 90 year old woman. With my same dirty mind and even dirtier mouth. It's going to be AWESOME.- I def don't have the dirty mind, but the dirty mouth is a diff story! And when I'm there will be NO holding back, whatsoever.

Here's the thing, I'm a nice person. So if I'm a bitch to you, you need to ask yourself why.

I'm a nice person. So if I'm a bitch to you, you need to ask yourself why. Yup ask yourself not me!

Not everything is offensive.It's people that make it offensive.lol means to lighten up!

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