“the wishing isn't working,” she writes in her diary that morning. “this is the end.”
she makes a list – 92 items, to be exact – of the things she'd like to do before she's done with the world and its drowning, drowning pain. she aims to check off all of the items by her twenty-fifth birthday, as that seems reasonable. then, if all goes according to plan, she can end her life well-satisfied.