"Sometimes, the amount of self-control it takes not to not say what's on my mind is so immense, I need to take a nap afterward." Exzactly. ... and no that wasn't unintentional. If you don't get it, move out! Get away!
I can think of four people off the top of my head who need this...
Glad to know it's not just my dog.
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This is beautiful. It expresses so many of my own thoughts and then comforts them with a beautiful metaphor. Be water.
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Funniest ecard yet.