You don't have to believe or follow your thoughts, you can choose to watch them with playful curiosity; they can be very amusing when you don't attach to them and watch your ego trying to drag you into negative behaviour.
Self-compassion is often the core of change. Your questions, the ones you're trying hard to cover, avoid, deny, resist, those questions are the place you find your deepest, truest, self-compassion. Give a voice to your pain. Face the questions, and ask them. Be a revolutionary in your own life.