hahahahaha.

Here's to every mother who has ever eaten a candy bar in a closet, because frankly, you just didn't want to share. Or a peanut buster parfait after they went to bed.

Literally every time. . .

Today I didn't wear makeup. Four people asked me if I was feeling okay. Thanks for thinking my real face looks like I am physically ill. (Seriously, even when I do wear make-up, people still ask this question!

true

"The true mark of maturity is when somebody hurts you and you try to understand their situation instead of trying to hurt them back." // (I don't want to label what "the true mark of maturity" is, but this idea of empathy vs revenge is important to me.

Hahaha... This is Hannah

"Remember the day you brought me home and you were filled with joy? Go to that place because I just drew all over the walls and shaved the dog. Always remember the joy-filled days!

seriously

Shouldn't you have to pass a urine test to get a welfare check since I have to pass one to earn it for you? Makes me so mad!

Lol

Idiots cause stress. Stress causes depression. Depression causes physical ailments. Conclusion: Stupid people make me sick. Conclusion: Stupid people make me sick

Wouldn't that be nice..

I look forward to the day when the biggest decision I have to make is what cocktail I'm going to sip on while laying on the all day. Hurry up retirement!

Yes. Yes it is.

Jerry Seinfeld on parenting a 2-year-old

Having a 2 year old is like having a blender without a lid. (& two teenagers = one 2 year old!

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