Dwight Schrute

Superior genes. Superior brain power. Superior pinboard.
12 Pins

"I’ve been looking for coffee table books with universal appeal to place in the lobby of the office building. I think I’ll start with this one." - Dwight Schrute

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"Picture this: you’re climbing to the top of a summit in the Himalayas. You’re the fastest in the group thanks to your German endurance, and you feel like a more vigorous version of Captain Apollo, if that’s even possible. However you reach a higher altitude and your eyeglasses fog over. Everyone starts passing you, even the yaks. How could you have avoided this embarrassing disaster? Anti-fog lens cleaner, idiot!" - Dwight Schrute

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"No one nails each workday better than Dwight K. Schrute. I am commanding, affecting and unyielding, which is why I ordered this desk accessory." - Dwight Schrute



"Sunglasses aren’t for everyone. You need a strong German jaw line and an optimum ratio between the eyes. Luckily I have both, and look phenomenal in these Plutonite lenses. I wear them every day because my future is so bright." - Dwight Schrute

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"I’ve been searching far and wide for horrific scarecrows – a twist on the old classic that’ll scare the scheißdreck out of crows and trespassers alike. I think I finally found a style I’m satisfied with." - Dwight Schrute

Scarecrow Trick


"Mose hates bath time, so I’ve been looking for fun new ways to get him clean. I think this antique water pump and barrel is just the answer. Plus how sharp would it look in the Irrigation room at my B?" - Dwight Schrute

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"There’s only one thing wrong with this jumpsuit worn by deckhand Anthony Figurski in season four of Battlestar Galactica: I don’t own it. I’m putting in my bid on ebay, and I had BETTER win because I’m planning on wearing this to my upcoming high school reunion. I can already see the envy on Raj Patel’s face!" - Dwight Schrute

Battlestar Galactica Figurski's Hero Orange Deck Hand Coveralls


"Nothing says, 'Get off my property, juvies! This is a beet farm, not the backseat of a Lumina!' quite like a vintage .22." - Dwight Schrute

Gotta love vintage .22LR rifles


"I ordered this recorder after accidentally eating purple mushrooms that were mixed in with my beet crop. At the time I thought it was delightful, now I think it’s hideous. I’m selling it for $13.00." - Dwight Schrute

A Canadian metal artist with a lot to say: Sunday's quote


"I commend this shirt for two reasons. 1: it uses a realistic likeness of a heart. 2: it expresses esteem for Judge Judy, the only woman I could ever picture myself as." - Dwight Schrute

Shirt on CafePress.com


"It’s common knowledge that every warrior needs throwing stars in his ninja pack. I prefer these ones because they unfailingly cut into my target with ease (Jim’s tires)." - Dwight Schrute

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"Aging, oil marks, discoloration. No I’m not describing your mother’s face, I’m talking about this U-Boat captain’s hat. It’s an outstanding reproduction. I should know – my great-uncle Horst had one just like it." - Dwight Schrute

kriegsmarine U-Boat Captains Cap