"I’ve been searching far and wide for horrific scarecrows – a twist on the old classic that’ll scare the scheißdreck out of crows and trespassers alike.  I think I finally found a style I’m satisfied with." - Dwight Schrute

Ive been searching far and wide for horrific scarecrows a twist on the old classic thatll scare the scheidreck out of crows and trespassers alike. I think I finally found a style Im satisfied with.

"I commend this shirt for two reasons. 1: it uses a realistic likeness of a heart. 2: it expresses esteem for Judge Judy, the only woman I could ever picture myself as." - Dwight Schrute

"I commend this shirt for two reasons. it uses a realistic likeness of a heart. it expresses esteem for Judge Judy, the only woman I could ever picture myself as." - Dwight Schrute (lol gabby you NEED this!

"Picture this: you’re climbing to the top of a summit in the Himalayas. You’re the fastest in the group thanks to your German endurance, and you feel like a more vigorous version of Captain Apollo, if that’s even possible. However you reach a higher altitude and your eyeglasses fog over. Everyone starts passing you, even the yaks. How could you have avoided this embarrassing disaster? Anti-fog lens cleaner, idiot!" - Dwight Schrute

A) love the name of this product B) need to use this!

"Mose hates bath time, so I’ve been looking for fun new ways to get him clean. I think this antique water pump and barrel is just the answer. Plus how sharp would it look in the Irrigation room at my B?" - Dwight Schrute

"Mose hates bath time, so I’ve been looking for fun new ways to get him clean. I think this antique water pump and barrel is just the answer. Plus how sharp would it look in the Irrigation room at my B?

"Nothing says, 'Get off my property, juvies! This is a beet farm, not the backseat of a Lumina!' quite like a vintage .22." - Dwight Schrute

"Nothing says, 'Get off my property, juvies! This is a beet farm, not the backseat of a Lumina!' quite like a vintage - Dwight Schrute

"Sunglasses aren’t for everyone. You need a strong German jaw line and an optimum ratio between the eyes. Luckily I have both, and look phenomenal in these Plutonite lenses. I wear them every day because my future is so bright." - Dwight Schrute

You need a strong German jaw line and an optimum ratio between the eyes. Luckily I have both, and look phenomenal in these Plutonite lenses. I wear them every day because my future is so bright.

"It’s common knowledge that every warrior needs throwing stars in his ninja pack. I prefer these ones because they unfailingly cut into my target with ease (Jim’s tires)." - Dwight Schrute

"It’s common knowledge that every warrior needs throwing stars in his ninja pack. I prefer these ones because they unfailingly cut into my target with ease (Jim’s tires).

"Aging, oil marks, discoloration. No I’m not describing your mother’s face, I’m talking about this U-Boat captain’s hat. It’s an outstanding reproduction. I should know – my great-uncle Horst had one just like it." - Dwight Schrute

No I’m not describing your mother’s face, I’m talking about this U-Boat captain’s hat. It’s an outstanding reproduction. I should know – my great-uncle Horst had one just like it.

"I’ve been looking for coffee table books with universal appeal to place in the lobby of the office building. I think I’ll start with this one." - Dwight Schrute

When it comes to his car collection, Motley Crue frontman Vince Neil truly lives the rock 'n' roll lifestyle. Read about Vince Neil, the lead singer of Motley Crue in this celebrity drive article brought to you by the automotive experts at Motor Trend.

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