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If the FBI consisted entirely of women, no crime would go unsolved. Ever. Why? Because if we want to know, we will find out.

every time. I think this is an INTJ thing. I don't know anyone else who 'gets' this!

The best thing about being in my 30's is that I did all of my stupid shit before the internet.

hahah amen. Can you PLEASE stop airing your dirty laundry on FB? Try posting funny shit. It would make everyone's day a little brighter!

Funny Thinking of You Ecard: I thought of you today, and it pissed me off. >> hahaha this cracks me up!

And then there's the train-wreck-reality-show quality to your life I can't drag myself away from--cause it's really real for real

it's five o'clock somewhere, but it's three o'clock here and i want to die - Google Search

I have developed a low tolerance for the spoiled brats of this generation and the parents who created them.

sorry that most of my hilarious jokes are borderline inappropriate. and by sorry, i mean you're welcome.

I get scared when I have to sneeze while driving.

I love Johnny Depp as Jack Sparrow<--There should be a Captain in there somewhere.

Why do stupid things like this make me laugh so!? haha