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Funny Quote – The only reason I’m fat is because a tiny body couldn’t store all this personality

Actually...not the WORST idea I've ever heard...lol.  Should be under "cleaning tips?"

Today's housekeeping tip: Always keep several get well cards on the mantel. That way, if unexpected guests arrive, they'll think you've been sick and unable to clean.

Aahh.  But they weren't hidden, they were laid in the middle of the road in plain sight.  Remember 1972, Bark River, MI.  RIP.

I LOVE YOU When I' m bored, I send a text to a random number saying "I hid the body." No i dont fuck y

Sometimes you just have to go with instinct.

Dont Keep Calm Slap that bitch, HARD. (I would love to!) Pretty please stop being a little bitch

My husbands wife

My husband's wife is freakin' AWESOME! This is so true! Every wife should have this pinned. Cursing Mama says, "Sometimes the truth is awesome!

Hard to decide if this should go on my "sayings" board or my "food" board!!  HA!

Well Behaved Children Welcome - The Rest Will BE Made Into Pies. Sign outside Marion's Pie Shop in Chatham, MA.

Lol

"I finally figured out my body type. Its hourglass with extra minutes." Love yourself for who you are!

I mean Lolo loves you, Chris, but nothing beats unlimited Olive Garden breadsticks without gaining a pound or going into cardiac arrest.

So true . every guy thinks every girl's dream is to find the perfect guy . pshh, every girl's dream is to eat without getting fat.

I like this idea

Not lying when I say this. Tonight my husband and I went to Newks. Sat outside. I look over at him and a mosquito is sucking his left cheek. I tenderly with love slap his face. I say mosquito because it really was! I so thought of this quote!

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