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Oh I'm sorry, I didn't realize that you're an expert on my life and how I should live it. Please continue while I take notes.

OM-FREAKING-G!!! I can SOOOO think of one chic (I use that term loosley) I'd LOVE to say this too....I'm sure some of me peeps can guess who it is with little effort ;)

This is most guys I know in general...Just because you say "I don't mean to offend you but..." doesn't mean I won't be offended. It's just a fancy way of saying "I know what I'm going to say is offensive but I'm going to do it anyway."

Funny Somewhat Topical Ecard: No, I don't need to walk a mile in your shoes. I can see that you're a train wreck from all the way over here.