All employees are to refrain from encouraging Loki to shift into non-humanoid forms. Any shape that can be described as “tentacled,” “squamous,” “rugose,” and/or “eldritch” should be particularly discouraged. On a related note, the biology department would like to meet with Thor in order to clarify the nature of several Asgardian lifeforms, particularly the one referred to as a “goat,” as there seems to have been at least one misunderstanding.
[Submitted by: John R. McFerren After several instances of Drunk Science, we are prohibiting the viewing of all episodes of Mythbusters involving alcohol until further notice. Anyone caught viewing an episode of Mythbusters while imbibing alcohol during this prohibition will be given Loki-sitting duty for a month.]
Thor and Loki are hereby informed that their presentation on the appropriation of pagan fertility symbols into modern holidays – while informative - was ill-timed. Easter is always on a Sunday; there is no need for this sh*t to take place during business hours.
[Submitted by: blasfemme Claiming a section of the Helicarrier as a sovereign territory by planting a flag in said section does not make it a queen/kingdom. Therefore, declaring diplomatic immunity for any ensuing felonies and or crimes will not be allowed. Citizens of “Starklandia,” “Clintopolis,” and “Darcytopia” will immediately disband or face disciplinary action.]