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Why is it necessary to put your glacial hands on my face??

Out of all the lies I’ve told…

This so accurately describes my life... it's not even funny.

And this is why you shouldn't drive an SUV. Otherwise, it would be: $29.97 *pump* - $29.98 *pump* - $29.99 *pump* - $30.01 DAMMIT.

I'd be the Zuckerberg of snark, except I'd go public before I'd topped out the value, and I'd live a much more excessive lifestyle. Ok, bad example.

Whenever I lock up my car, I always press the button twice in a row to let all nearby thieves know I mean business.

relatable posts | Relatable Post # 905 | Comics Troll

This has happened to me too many times.

lol I do this while screaming NOOOOO sad puppy commercial!!!!

Every time I see a math problem…

I don't care if that public toilet handle is ten feet off the ground, I'm still going to raise my leg up there so that I can flush with my foot.