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    Spooning corgis.

    New Rollfoward prices!

    Happy Teacher Appreciation Week to someone who taught me the best lesson of all is to not become a teacher.

    Story of my life. People call my car "the water bottle car"

    washing your hands...





    if only that werent so completely true....

    Online dating is a great way to meet people who only look hot online.

    so funny : ) true : /

    Laugh out loud, HA!

    In case of fire, exit building BEFORE tweeting about it.

    Ron Swanson

    Comic by Toothpaste For Dinner: zero calorie pizza

    "Let's go back to meeting online. You're much better looking there."

    Now that the holiday blues are over, let's resume our everyday melancholy.

    Hope you're not too exhausted from your yearly visit to the gym on New Year's Day.

    Let's never speak of 2012 again.

    Real life...

    Saturday Night Live: Molly Shannon as Sally O'Malley #SNL I like to kick, STrettttch, and KICK!

    I can't believe it's been a year since I didn't become a better person.