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Kids have so much energy because they siphon it out of their parents like midget gasoline thieves.

funny motherhood quotes "Kids have so much energy because they siphon it out of their parents like midget gasoline thieves.

Will cocktails be served at your daughter's princess party or shall I tailgate in your driveway? | Birthday Ecard | someecards.com

I'll be saying this to my friends with kids. But then again, this might be why I'm not being invited to the princess parties.

Well, it's not because I'm shy.

Mom always told me if you cant say anything nice, then dont say anything at all. And some people wonder why Im so quiet around them.Via someecards

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Truth - There's no stronger sunscreen than sitting in a bar. Oh very true!

Hah! Yeah

I'm outdoorsy in that I like getting drunk on patios! Lol -- if patios said PORCHES this would be perfect for the BU Music dept! Porch parties -- I miss them!

LOL!

Funny Valentines Day Ecard inspirational-sayings-and-hysterical-commentary

Funny Friendship Ecard: I'm seriously considering hiring a third grader to proofread your Facebook status updates for you.

Funny Friendship Ecard: I'm seriously considering hiring a third grader to…

This is too funny and a true story! LOL

25 Ways to Tell You're a Grown Up. Wow, I feel old. 25 Ways to Tell You're a Grown Up. Wow, I feel old. 25 Ways to Tell You're a Grown Up. Wow, I feel old.

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