• Shannen Mitchell Magee

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  • Laura K.

    Funny Confession Ecard: Your hurt and anger are products of having feelings. My calmness is a product of no longer giving a fuck.

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This is my asshole antenna

Alcohol

Alright Monday, what kind of bullshit you got for me today?!

The moment you realize that you're in the middle of a cluster fuck.

It's Monday. I am refreshed and ready to hate my boss all over again.

I'm going to start keeping a Pez dispenser filled with Xanax in my glove box for those infrequent trips to Wal-Mart.

Join me in a brief moment of silence for my dignity before this weekend gets started.

The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.

Thank god my job offers mental health benefits so I can talk to a therapist about my job destroying my will to live.

My Boss sent me home today. Apparently, 'the later I get here, the quicker this ends' isn't the right answer for 'why are you late?'

Thank god my job offers mental health benefits so I can talk to a therapist about my job destroying my will to live.

Pretending to look busy on a Friday is the hardest I work all week.

Something about today makes me want to be hungover tomorrow.

There is always a little go fuck yourself in every whatever.

It's Friday Time for the End of the Week Salute !!

Let me know if you want to have a serious talk peppered with humorous movie quotes.

Drinking before 10 AM makes you a pirate..... NOT an alcoholic.

There is no greater adventure than one's magical journey through last night's drunk texts.

Some people should use a glue stick instead of Chapstick.

Some things are better left unsaid. That's usually the stuff I blurt out right away.

I hate being Bipolar. It's awesome!

Happy Thanksgiving, because nothing makes me more thankful than several bottles of wine!

My sense of humor earns me countless uneasy stares.

I have no time for judgmental people. Particularly the ugly ones.

It's not that I don't like you.... oh wait, yes, yes it is.