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Cigarette Rain Guard Because sometimes it's raining so hard that even your cigarette needs an umbrella.

Dog Restrainer If you're not trying to cut your dog in half, you have no business using this device. What's wrong with a good, old-fashioned leash?

Face Protectors for Snow Storms For all of those times when a hat isn't enough to keep you warm, you can look like one of those creepy monsters from Beetlejuice?

Baby Cage Does your baby take up too much space? Is it too stinky? Thankfully, there's this baby cage that allows you to suspend it out your window!...who would buy this?

Neck Cleaner "Five-year-old Tim Gregory wears, under protest, a brush that cleans a child's neck without the use of soap and water in Los Angeles, Calif., Jan. 12, 1950. The plastic collar brush will dry-clean the youngster's neck thoroughly as he plays. The brush was developed by the Los Angeles Brush Corp. at a mother's suggestion." What ever happened to a good old fashioned bath?

You thought it only existed in cartoons. You were wrong. Now you can look awake even when you are asleep.

Ponytails are so passé. The best way to keep your hair out of your noodles

Baby Mop At least the baby will have a great immune system after some time being used as a mop and bathing in dirt.

Double Ended Pipe For when you and your friend want to conserve tobacco while also sharing a tender moment.