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Hon, I know where we keep everythin in the house. I live here, remember? Said no husband ever.

I HAD A STAPLER WITH A MAG IN IT AT MY DESK JOB. I FELT LIKE A BADASS. LOOK OUT INSURANCE QUOTES. IMMA STAPLE YOU!!!!

Funny Pictures Of The Day – 92 Pics - Peckosh Pediatric Dentistry | #Dubuque | #IA | peckoshpediatricd...

You're like the first slice of bread in the bag... everyone touches you, but nobody really wants you.

SO TRUE!!!!!!! SO TRUE!!!

I agree with almost everything here. The way people change over time is amusing.

Funny Confession Ecard: This whole grown-up thing has been fun but I have to go now.

Funny Somewhat Topical Ecard: You are about to exceed the limits of my medication.

I'm going to buy you tons of flowers and jewelry for no reason - until we get married. Then it's all over, and you get to fold my laundry.