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I'd call you a douchebag, but that would imply that you could get near a vagina.

Thank you for always checking yourself in at places on facebook so that we don't go there and have to see your fugly ass face.

While I was running today I heard someone clapping, it was just my thighs cheering me on.

time check! ok, I saw this and literally cracked up. so inappropriate and yet so funny!