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lmfao I always think this!

I've always wondered why people announce they have a baby in the car. as if it makes a difference in the way people drive. This is hilarious!

Holiday cookie swap, my ass. I'd rather have a cocktail swap. Same calories, cleaner kitchen!

Funny Seasonal Ecard: Holiday cookie swap, my ass. I'd rather have a cocktail swap.

@Trudy B B Marshall  (I mean, not AT you, but we both know the people who we can direct this to.)

Funny Workplace Ecard: I often find myself contemplating if punching you in the face would be worth losing my job. Most days the answer is no, you're not worth it.

Everyday I fall in love with you more ...

Free and Funny Thinking Of You Ecard: Everyday I fall in love with you more and more. Except yesterday, yesterday you were pretty fucking annoying.

burning bridges ecard - Google Search

Some people call it "nagging". I call it, "just do what I freaking told you to do the first time". to my husband!

Lol stay home when you're sick! #weneedmedicareforallnow!

Funny Get Well Ecard: Get well soon because your cough is fucking disgusting. My life right now!

Shopping carts should have - at the very least - front bumpers covered in broken shards of glass & cacti for people who aisle-hog. Or maybe just a horn.

I+grocery store and Walmart! Hate going shopping. can't+tell+you+the+number+of+times+I've+fantasized+about+running+my+cart+into+the+heels+of+the+stupid+people+that+block+the+aisles+at+the+grocery+store.

Sadly this is my montra during too many weekends....

If it requires pants and/or a bra, it's not happening today.yep that's me on most Sundays!

Photo: It's FUCKING FRIDAY....

Funny Friendship Ecard: Its too bad that, even at our age, were not mature enough to meet for A drink because it will somehow turn into 7 drinks, 5

@Ashleigh Rotondo @Shannon Vossberg @Sommer Williams @Erin King @Heather Rodgers @Cari McKibben

Free and Funny Labor Day Ecard: I wake up with a good attitude every day. Then idiots happen.

This should be written as "alot."

Funny Somewhat Topical Ecard: I drink wine because I dont like to keep things bottled up.

"Earth to Yogis" - Baron Baptiste - Paperblog

"Earth to Yogis" - Baron Baptiste

Free and Funny Confession Ecard: When I was a child I thought Nap Time was a Punishment. Now as a Mom, Nap Time Feels like I Won a Vacation!

The Three F's Lol!

Funny Reminders Ecard: Remember the 3 F rule. If your not 'F'ucking me 'F'eeding me or 'F'inancing me then your opinions really don't matter! Please keep your opinions to yourself!

I love regifting!!

Funny Confession Ecard: I finally got the last knife of the set youve been stabbing in my back all these years. Heads up: I regift. to-make-you-laugh