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26 Funny and Snarky Quotes A pretty good combination, you have to say. I’m pretty resourceful and I think of all of my options. Alcohol is one of them. I’m going to be fine but…. There’s no crying with MAC mascara! I’ll take $50 too. Please don’t test my threats. And loving it!  My …

26 Funny and Snarky Quotes -

Top 25 Perfectly Witty & Funny Quotes That You'll Love: discover witty and funny quotes, minion quotes and hilarious memes on life.


I LOVE YOU When I' m bored, I send a text to a random number saying "I hid the body." No i dont fuck y

The biggest lie I tell myself is "I don't need to write that down. I'll remember it."

I don't need to write it down --- so true, so true. Actually I don't tell myself that anymore, I HAVE to write it down!

I say this all the time

Dear lord all I ask is for a change to prove...

Dear Lord, all I ask is a chance to prove that winning the lottery won't make me a bad person. I've been making that deal for years.

"Pouca sinceridade é uma coisa perigosa, e muita sinceridade é absolutamente fatal." Oscar Wilde

funny quote photo: Sarcasm - because beating the shit out of people is illeagal!

How Much Is Seventy Percent Off? (Calculating Percentages in Your Head)

... sigh ...

My inner fat girl

ain't this the truth. ain't this the truth. ain't this the truth.

I'm So Glam I sweat Glitter Wall Words Decal door HouseHoldWords

I'm So Glam I sweat Glitter Wall Words Decal Quote with tiny star sparkles Yoga, Fitness, Fashion Vinyl Decal on Wanelo

For Lori and her krew

Camping: Where you spend a small fortune to live like a homeless person. That and picnics - never understood preparing food in your kitchen and then hauling outside to share with the bugs and the wind and lord knows what else.

Aww... thats cute compared to me... cuz when im mad i am FUCKING SATAN HIMSELF.

30 Inappropriate Humor Pictures

I'm glad I don't have a thigh gap. I almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it was saved by thunder and lightening.

I hate when people ask to borrow one, and you really don't want to give it to them because it is stretched perfectly for your wrist, so you pretend you don't have it.

hair tie on my wrist for my senior pictures. hair tie on my wrist for our engagement pictures. hair tie on my wrist or in my hair (or both) always.