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Isn't it funny that the people who always have an answer for everything are usually the ones with the questionable behavior?

Despite being a pain in the ass, you have to admit I still bring a lot to the table.

haha! Unless your house is so huge you have many living areas specifically designated for guests! (Not me)

I think i finally get this shit...... "Adulthood" is mostly about being tired and wishing you hadn't made plans. | Confession Ecard | someecards.com

Women are like angels. If you break our wings, we'll just hop on our broom sticks. Cuz, we're flexible like that!

I like big cups and I can not lie You coffee drinkers can't deny When a triple breve overflows With steam all in your face You get AWAKE! Wanna drink you all up Cuz you notice that your cup is stuffed Full of caffeine goodness I'm hooked and I can't stop staring Oh, baby I wanna drink ya And sip you slowly My barista tried to warn me But that cup you got Make me so happy...'

I'm sure the fish jumped out of the water to be with him

I need a hug that results in wild sex.

God knew what he was doing when he let women have the babies.