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Forgiveness is a decision. We decide to cut off the bitter root and plant a seed of love. We cannot blame ourselves if it does not grow; sometimes the other party has poisoned the soil too much. But we must keep the bitter roots cut and plant more and more seeds of love. Forgiveness begins when we make that choice; long before we see the results.
Forgiveness. If you are angry, sin not. A lot of the times, we are chastised for anger, or for being uncharitable to others. Fair enough; that chastisement is deserved. But do we think enough about how holding onto anger and lack of charity hurts US by weighing down our souls? Think of forgiveness in terms of taking care of YOURSELF, too.
Confession = Forgiveness. Focus on the gift of grace received. Don't let anyone make it all about guilt trips and don't let anyone convince you to throw this very important gift-- the gift of being reconciled to God-- away. It is okay to struggle with going to Confession, but know that God is merciful and patient. Confession is where you get to know him and know yourself as he does. Now, is that great, or what?
You deserve that your mind no longer induces the same thoughts of when they hurt you over and over again. Thus, to forgive them is to forgive yourself. As it might well be that unconsciously you've judged yourself guilty of what they did to you. You never were.