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Wool Poncho with Cowl Neck Oneofakind Festival by SuperSugarRayRay, $375.00

"Grandpa let me wear his hat!"

34.5 carat Hublot Black Caviar Bang. In case you're looking for a watch to frighten little children.

If you're after a look that says, "I woke up naked with a splitting headache and dressed myself from the donations bin behind the Hyannis Goodwill," here you go. Preppy just jumped the shark. Prepare for a punk revival.

"Honey, I want to spend the weekend distressing things. Do we have anything left in the house that's not distressed?"

This suit makes this guy look 11 years old and four feet tall.

On his way to work, presumably in a toad stool or hollow tree.

The Bowtie of the Future

Bacon taco shells

He looks like he's expecting someone to hit him, even though he's on a runway.

A perfect ensemble for men who got through childhood without being bullied and want to see what it's like.

Wooden Tie

Can't wait to wear this to the hardware store.

Hmm.

Ew.

1979 Plymouth Volaré Premier Wagon.

Maybe a good weekend look, like for soccer practice, then a trip to the mall.

"Sir, you've been randomly selected for additional security screening."