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Child: "Mom, can I have a candy?" Mom: "Did you brush your teeth?" Child: "Not yet" Mom: "No, then you can't have candy." (Child leaves room and finds Dad)Child: "Dad, can I have candy?" Dad: "Yes.

Oh apps. You served your purpose for a bit.

Whenever I delete an app on my iPhone, the shaking icons make me feel that they're panicked over who's getting cut from the team. --I will never look at that the same

and FYI she doesn't clock back in before 7am - so doncha bother gettin' oughta bed with nightmares and such cause momma's sleepin'

So TRUE! Your loving and patient mother clocks off at I suggest you get your tiny butt in bed before angry and "I've had enough!

Why must every wife and mother become a stark, raving lunatic before anyone in her household takes her seriously?

Funny Family Ecard: Why must every wife and mother become a stark, raving lunatic before anyone in her household takes her seriously?

Seriously....and they love me

Mosquitos are assholes And so are ticks, chiggers, gnats, snakes and all the other noxious things that come with the noxious season from hell.

Escape with Dark Chocolate: Printable Wrap! - Our Best Bites

Escape with Dark Chocolate: Printable Wrap

Funny Confession Ecard: Here's to every mother who has ever eaten a candy bar in a closet, because frankly, you just didn't want to share.I'M Guilty.

I just don't think I should ever have to wear pants...

I just don't think I should ever have to wear pants. Dillon Smith I HATE PANTS

Awkward Mom Moment #10003: Sneezing is more about crossing your legs tight than covering your mouth. | Family Ecard | someecards.com

Funny Family Ecard: Awkward Mom Moment Sneezing is more about crossing your legs tight than covering your mouth.

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