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Lol.

Don't Stop Believin Hold on to that feelin. This cracked me up

Remember how patient I was while you acted up in the store? Hang on to that memory, cause I'm gonna woop your ass when we get home.

Remember how patient I was while you acted up in the store? Hang on to that memory, cause I'm gonna woop your ass when we get home.Im pretty sure I think this all the time lol

This happens so often.

That moment when you have so much shit to do that you decide to take a nap instead. this definitely.lately happens to me all the time!

I'm not slurring my words, I'm talking in cursive.

I'm not slurring my words, I'm talking in cursive. // I need to remember this the next time I'm drunk.

Ax a question!

Just for clarification. Did you say you want to ASK me a question or AX me a question? Because I don't want to die.my mother's biggest pet peeve

Funny Family Ecard: Father's Day. . . The most confusing day in the Ghetto.

sooo wrong,yet so funny! not so much in the ghetto,but just everywhere now!

Funny College Ecard: I'm working really hard for a graduate degree, but if the opportunity arises to become a housewife, I'm taking it.

I'm only working to get my undergrad, but this still applies! I want to be a Real Housewife though, so he better be rich or it's no deal.

Funny Weekend Ecard: Please God cure my hangover and I promise I will never drink again, also please forgive me in advance for lying about never drinking again.

I wouldnt ask God to help with a hangover but this is definitely me. I never plan to do it again.

I'm putting this on my resume. People should know my work style upfront.

Casual Friday, Punch a Coworker Monday, No Pants/Shirt Tuesday, Drunk at Work Wednesday, Call in Sick Thursday.

My mom always said I'd get worms, not salmonella. But, I've been doing it for almost 40 years, and I've never gotten either.

This is my philosophy right there. Same goes for cookie dough. I will buy packages of cookie dough and just eat it, don't even bake cookies. It drives my fiance crazy.

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