Hahaha yes! (My fave part is the "Suggest highly improbable consequences." ...the example using feral cats as a probable next step to leaving dirty dishes in the sink is spot on and hilarious — How to write a passive aggressive note
Separation Anxiety isn't funny - it's a serious behavioral disorder, that often results in injury to the dog (broken teeth & nails, and in extreme cases, dogs that jump through plate-glass windows can fracture bones or even die) &/or extensive property damage . Fortunately, anxiolytic medications & behavior modification training are usually effective.