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funny joke: u say: OMG DID U HEAR?? some actress got accosted in central park!! Yah like... uh blonde? Shes really famous!! I think she was stabbed!! Uh.. Reese something? they say: Witherspoon? u say: No! With a knife probably :)

Should I shave my legs today

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I've always said it's hard to have a battle of the wits with an unarmed person..... it's actually not fair!!

Yes--but mainly i just wanted to keep the bottom picture.

I'm pretty sure I've pinned this before, but it genuinely makes me get the cry-laughs every time. Every.single.time.

All I have to say is, you better be this hard to get in bed when you're 18.

People don't want to hear about your diet. Just shut up, eat your lettuce, and be sad.

Sorry, I'm not Adele. I don't wish the best for you nor do I want to find someone like you. I do, however, want to set fire to all of your stuff.

Funny Confession Ecard: She thinks she's hot shit on a silver platter but she's just a cold turd on a paper plate.