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Dryer lint: Cremated remains of missing socks. So true. More here: 20 Hilarious Funeral Humor Memes // Funny

Pleeeease don't die!  Took ka minute... but I got it!!

No Cash, No Hope, No Jobs. We must protect Kevin Bacon! Not so funny if "No Bacon" actually means "No Food".

This shyt happens all the time..

raisin cookies that look like chocolate chip cookies are the main reason I have trust issues.or raisin cheesecake.or raisin cannoli.

Will Ferrell as Buddy the Elf (Elf) : "I just like to smile, smiling's my favorite ."

I just like to smile! Smiling's my favorite! this quote is so wonderful. So ME! Will Ferrell is so funny and it's just not the Christmas season without watching the movie Elf.

I mean Lolo loves you, Chris, but nothing beats unlimited Olive Garden breadsticks without gaining a pound or going into cardiac arrest.

So true . every guy thinks every girl's dream is to find the perfect guy . pshh, every girl's dream is to eat without getting fat.

I'm that idiot

Whenever you feel sad, just remember that somewhere in this world there's an idiot pulling a door that says "PUSH".

Getting them undressed (or redressed) is like wrestling an alligator...Will pass out anywhere...Poor decision making skills...Argumentative...Speaks gibberish...Cries for no apparent reason...Zero inhibitions...No personal boundaries...Spontaneous vomiting...Poor short term memory...Gets belligerent if you take away their beer [insert favorite toy here]...One track mind...Loses everything...One volume setting – LOUD!

lol- 20 Ways Toddlers are Like Drunk People - Hilarious! More applicable to me, 20 ways dealing with a drunk person is like a toddler

Me, I have this

oh that's me. random fact: getting angry at people when we listen to them breathing or eating is called Misophonia, which is an actual brain disorder.

Need! How you feel when you get all low blood sugar. | 24 Products That Are Totally Feeling You Right Now

24 Products That Are Totally Feeling You Right Now

hangry: a state of anger caused by lack of food (i'm def no fun when i'm hangry!) This is funny, i thought this only used with my Family!

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