this is your birthday and to show i care, i wanted to get you something to wear. i wasn’t sure of your size, and money is tight, and buying the wrong thing just wouldn’t be right. so, i’m giving you something i know you can use; it’s almost as useful as a new pair of shoes. now every time you sit to pee, i know that you will be thinking of me. so, use this gift to dry your tush, then make a wish before you flush.