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I would be rich if this were true. If you gave me five bucks Everytime you had a dirty thought. WE would be set for life! We could run away to an island all alone!

The best things in life...

The best things in life either make you fat, drunk or pregnant. - so true!

Ha!

New favorite palindrome: Dammit I'm Mad spelled backwards is Dammit I'm Mad

Just wondering

I do this every night. Also I wake up in the middle of the night, I calculate how much MORE sleep I have before my alarm goes off .

HAHA when I first read this I thought it said it's the only food that you can make cry lol

Found this in the microwave manual

My friend thinks their smart, they said that onions are the only food that make you cry. So I threw a coconut at his face. He cried therefore I proved him wrong. Almost any food can make someone cry

I think I'm going to use this one...

Teacher humor -Dear Students, I know when you're texting in class. Seriously, no one just looks down at their crotch and smiles. Sincerely, Your Teacher.

thinking of you quotes | quotes, thinking, thoughts, you - inspiring picture on Favim.com | We ...

Dirty Sexy Quotes, Sayings and Images. The 32 most dirty quotes and sexy quotes of the past in one list with funny, dirty and sexy pictures.

So I lost my job, crashed my car, was dumped by my boyfriend, and my pet rock committed suicide but...

I'm addicted to coffee. On the bright side I'm not addicted to cocaine

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