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A friend asks if you'd like a little wine. A real friend asks if you'd like a little wine, then fills the glass to the rim.

I often find myself contemplating if punching you in the face would be worth loosing my job. Most days the answer is yes.

I often find myself contemplating if punching you in the face would be worth loosing my job. Most days the answer is yes.

Yup @alicia billingsley @Jessica King that's going to be us pretty soon, haha!

Yup @alicia billingsley @Jessica King that's going to be us pretty soon, haha!

"There are some days when no matter what I say it feels like I'm far away in another country & whoever is doing the translating has had far too much to drink." -Brian Andreas

"There are some days when no matter what I say it feels like I'm far away in another country & whoever is doing the translating has had far too much to drink." -Brian Andreas

I Don't Fart I Whisper In My Panties Shirt, Hoodies, Tanktops

I Don't Fart I Whisper In My Panties T-Shirt, Hoodie, Tank Top

I Don't Fart I Whisper In My Panties Shirt, Hoodies, Tanktops

Please, please don't be a bitch to me. Because then I'll have to be a bitch back and I can do it better than you.

Please, please don't be a bitch to me. Because then I'll have to be a bitch back and I can do it better than you.

Google Image Result for http://static.someecards.com/someecards/usercards/MjAxMi1jZDQ3YjQwNThlNWZkMDYy.png

Google Image Result for http://static.someecards.com/someecards/usercards/MjAxMi1jZDQ3YjQwNThlNWZkMDYy.png

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