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Funny Reminders Ecard: Oh, you spent your welfare check on the new iPhone and now you're broke? Better ask Siri where you can get a job like the rest of us!

Lmao- seriously though! I really need to take time to stretch these unused parts out! Ughh!

Pretty much-Fitness level - pulled a muscle in my ass just crossing my legs - vintage retro funny quote

"Kiss my ass! You cheated on me in my dream last night and I'm not over it!"    This sounds like my husband, not me.

My husband said I woke up and slapped him one night and the next morning I told him I had a dream he cheated on me.

Google Image Result for http://www.dumpaday.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/funny-quotes-from-women.jpg

Funny Confession Ecard: I can't cook & hate to clean, but I'm certain my expertise in sarcasm & raiding the Target clearance section makes me a rare gem. This is me.

This Halloween, I'm going as a Democrat. When the kids come to my door, I'll take half their candy and give it to those too lazy to go trick or treating.

This Halloween, I'm going as a Democrat. When the kids come to my door, I'll take half their candy and give it to those too lazy to go trick or treating. {well, it's true!

Funny Confession Ecard: I enjoy a glass of wine each night for it's health benefits. The other glasses are for my witty comebacks and flawless dance moves.

Funny Confession Ecard: I enjoy a glass of wine each night for it's health benefits. The other glasses are for my witty comebacks and flawless dance moves. How do they know me so well?

The least you could do...  Typically i am against such generalizations, but this is funny. lol

The least you could do...

For all the taxes they take out of my paycheck, the least they could do is send me a picture of the ghetto family I'm supporting to hang on my fridge. Sad but so freaking true!

Lego Holiday Card Set of 6

Lego Holiday Card Set of 6

All I can think about is my brother laughing hysterically. I'm the one to worry about in my family

Sadly, this made me laugh...sadly, it's true.

For real because some people don't live off the government. Some people being ME

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