Explore Sarcasm Quotes, Witty Quotes, and more!

my sister will do this at her own jokes. Then in between laughing she tells us to stop making her laugh.

Laughing so hard, no noise comes out, so you sit there clapping like a retarded seal - lolsotrue


Applies to most of the people on my fb, santa, clothes, dictionary, christmas


so true! Funny Confession Ecard: I don't have a 'honey-do' list. I have a 'I'll freaking do it myself' list. And guess what? Shit gets done.

I do!

Public toilet = flush with foot. I always use my foot to flush ALWAyS in public bathrooms

I do this and put my list in a spreadsheet.

Grocery Store List Humor

I actually do this!didn't realize this was an OCD thing. I thought it was common sense. I thought everybody did!


Nobody want to hear their hospital coworkers coughing & snotting (not a real word, but yeah--gross!

@Dominique Aizpurua Flugelman Aizpurua Flugelman L @Christine Ballisty Eisele lmfaooooo

Funny Friendship Ecard: Being my best friend means listening to stories about my bowl movements. Are you sure you can handle this?

E card

Funny pictures about It's complicated. Oh, and cool pics about It's complicated. Also, It's complicated photos.


This is so true in my life. Not sure why I always have to be the one to reach out first. I'm done being that person, friendship is a 2 way street. If you don't have "time" to contact me, then don't expect me to contact you.

Pretty much. Actually, can I just send all the stupid people to their own island?

Dear Santa, all I want for Christmas is my own island where I don't have to deal with any stupid people.