Not going to lie, I do a happy dance in my head when I see stuck up bitches from high school being all fatter than me. Winning!

Not going to lie, I do a happy dance in my head when I see stuck up bitches from high school being all fatter than me. Winning!

I'm having one of those days that skipping coffee and going straight to booze seems completely acceptable.  Happy Monday!

I'm having one of those days that skipping coffee and going straight to booze seems completely acceptable. Happy Monday!

I feel bad for kids now days that see a cool new toy on TV that they want, but have no way of getting, because their parents have to be 18 or older to call. | Cry For Help Ecard | someecards.com

I feel bad for kids now days that see a cool new toy on TV that they want, but have no way of getting, because their parents have to be 18 or older to call. | Cry For Help Ecard | someecards.com

When I'm old(er) ... I'm not going to sit around knitting ... I'm going to  .... http://media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/73/e1/50/73e1507052dc0485ffefa78e5c08d1b4.jpg

When I'm old(er) ... I'm not going to sit around knitting ... I'm going to .... http://media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/73/e1/50/73e1507052dc0485ffefa78e5c08d1b4.jpg

You call them 'cuss words' I choose to call them 'sentence enhancers'.

You call them 'cuss words' I choose to call them 'sentence enhancers'.

Love is spending the rest of your life with someone you want to kill and not doing it because you'd miss them!

Love is spending the rest of your life with someone you want to kill and not doing it because you'd miss them!

"Kiss my ass! You cheated on me in my dream last night and I'm not over it!"    This sounds like my husband, not me.

"Kiss my ass! You cheated on me in my dream last night and I'm not over it!" This sounds like my husband, not me.

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