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Oh my goodness!!! I know people like this!!! Uh oh, what if they're reading this and thinking, "I know somebody like this!" and it's my face that popped up in their head! ROTFL!

I hate you. Maybe not in a I hope you die kind of way, but in a I hope you develop an allergy to bacon kind of way. And ice cream.

There are two types of people in this world: People you drink with, and people you are with that make you want to drink.