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Sorry I'm late, but I didn't want to come...story of my life

I am brilliant, funny and awesome. If I were thin too that just would not be fair. You are welcome. ~~ So true.

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I love you so much. I would provide you an alibi in the event that your crazy ass snapped.

Funny Friendship Ecard: I hate when people say 'He's a nice person once you get to know him' They might as well just say 'He's a douche, but you'll get used to it'.

I would delete you off of my facebook friends list, but then you wouldn't be able to see all the fun things I do without you.