guilty. except im trying to keep safe from the paranormal.....aliens too.

Realist speaking

Why do we feel safe under blankets? It's not like a murderer will come in thinking "I'm gonna ki. She's under a blanket. ha, ha that is funny!

Truth...

In my defense a sidewalk broke my teeth. So sidewalks def. deserve dirty looks.

Rumple Tweezer @ Dingly Dell

That annoying moment when a package says "easy open" and you need scissors, a knife, a gun, and a light saber to open it.

Laughing

Story of my Life! I do this, seriously, all the time. The worst part is: when you actually do finish the story and no one else laughs.

Any more than three she's freakin super women for sure!

Today's modern woman * Clean house * Healthy dinner on the table (at dinnertime) * Fit, trim & well-groomed * Works full time * Laundry done & put away * Great sex life * . pick any two

So true...

hahaha thought this was funny the times that I have to do the laundry which isn't much at all I restart the dryer more times then I can count LOL

"every guy thinks every girls' dream is to find the perfect guy... pssh, every girls' dream is to eat without getting fat." -Anon.

Every guy thinks every girl dreams is to find the perfect guy. Every girl's dream is to eat without getting fat.

I totally do this! And jump on the bed from a foot away to make sure no one grabs me from under my bed!!!!

Oh god I can relate too much. I turn the lights off and it gets pretty dark in the house. LOLXD I just peg it up the stairs and into my room slam the door and turn the light on.

I don't like thinking of this in the daylight either!

or other scary things that come out in the dark. Like burglars. Or murderers, or clowns. Or spiders, or ghosts.

Fifty

Fifty Shades Of Funny: The Best Of The 50 Shades Of Grey E-Cards

Fifty Shades Of Funny: The Best Of The 50 Shades Of Grey (good thing I havent read it!

Opinions.

36 of My Favorite Silly, Crazy or Funny Quotes For the Day

Goes along with, "Well don"t ask for my opinion if you don't want to hear it!

no kidding..

Funny Quote - Scientists have yet to explain how 300 people can be working at a Walmart but only 4 registers will be open - Funny Pictures, Quotes, Videos and More!

One time I was so jealous all my friends got the new crayola markers with the black on the outside like in 2nd grade

Markers weren't out yet, but I do remember the aroma when I opened my new box of 48 Crayola crayons!

- .-

I should be dead about a million times over, for all the chain letters and emails and texts that I've received and NEVER forwarded one. So I find this HILARIOUS! They are like Blackmail, Guilt, Fear letters.

Okay, so it's not harry potter vs twilight, but {Peter pan is a billion times better then twilight. @Emily Schoenfeld Simmerock I know you're loving this @Abby Christine Silva Peter wasn't even that creepy about it. He just wanted to hear stories, not creep on girls roughly 90 years younger than him. Also, yes, loving this.

Dear Edward Cullen

i love peter pan i love peter pan. i love peter pan. go die edward.

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