Don't you hate when you're going down the steps, and you forget about the last one? It's like...HELLO...you just had a 7 inch heart attack.

Don't you hate when you're going down the steps, and you forget about the last one? It's like...HELLO...you just had a 7 inch heart attack.

I+don't+fart,+I+whisper+in+my+panties+.+.+.+but+sometimes+it's+a+scream.

I+don't+fart,+I+whisper+in+my+panties+.+.+.+but+sometimes+it's+a+scream.

Every time I think I have all of my ducks in a row...I turn around, and one of those bitches is waddling off!

Every time I think I have all of my ducks in a row...I turn around, and one of those bitches is waddling off!

I tried to throat punch you via text but there's no app for that. I looked. Twice.

I tried to throat punch you via text but there's no app for that. I looked. Twice.

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