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Sometimes I think, 'Screw this... I'll just be a stripper!' Then I remember I'm fat... and can't dance.

Sometimes I think, 'Screw this... I'll just be a stripper!' Then I remember I'm fat... and can't dance.

And this. | 22 Wine Memes That Will Make Wine Lovers Laugh

And this.

And this. | 22 Wine Memes That Will Make Wine Lovers Laugh

"whenever I lock up my car, I always press the button twice in a row to let nearby thieves know I mean business"

"whenever I lock up my car, I always press the button twice in a row to let nearby thieves know I mean business"

Motherhood Merit Badges. So true. I have earned all but 2, the Fisherman and Disney badges

The Badges of Motherhood

Motherhood Merit Badges. So true. I have earned all but 2, the Fisherman and Disney badges

Pinterest: proving to the world that you do in fact have taste, but without the funds to act on it

Pinterest: proving to the world that you do in fact have taste, but without the funds to act on it

Asking me if I'm hungry is like asking me if I want money. | Cry For Help Ecard | someecards.com

Asking me if I'm hungry is like asking me if I want money. | Cry For Help Ecard | someecards.com

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