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    Jimmy Fallon

    amount not ok

    COFFEE first your BULLSHIT second Adult Humor by SLANTEDmind, $4.99

    Always the exception

    You see this in your frickin kitchen, you know what, BETTER CALL SOMEONE TO TAKE CARE OF IT FOR YOU unless you really want the consequences that come when you STAND AND TAKE A PICTURE. unless it's yours, in which case, LIKELY, it is highly illegal. even if it's legal, really, you keep a snake this big IRL, your chances of death are very high. Things are dubbed into movies for a reason. You don't just look at something fantastical and go "OH YES, REAL-LIFE right here." In the same way you don't see me walk around looking like a Japanese anime character for real. I understand it might fulfill *someone's* fantasies to see me walk around in some kind of cosplay regalia or what not, but really, if you can't handle what you're seeing, then goddamn don't mother fucking goddamn moron asshole loser f-bomb LOOK AT IT. if you are not mature enough to handle certain content, you know what, DON'T MAKE IT A BIG DEAL and make someone else feel crappy because you can't handle something AWKWARD. really, though, IRL, rant aside, if an animal really DOES bother you, or if you do need police assistance because someone is legitimately hassling you, call the police (for people) or the DNR or natural resources department, which is basically a synonym for the DNR and probably exists somewhere around the same region of the phone book (for animals), pick up the phone and place the damn phone call. You are not going to be saved simply by looking to the sky and praying for assistance. Same thing as the people who just pray a malady goes away when they really should have gotten medical assistance for someone and a person died as a result. Pick up the friggin phone and make a phone call, if the situation is a real emergency, or does make you uncomfortable. If you can't use the phone, I can't help you.



    Every time

    I did not know this was such a problem.

    Me. Every day after work. Except sleep isn't an actual option

    Arthur understands the struggle!

    Easy peasy

    Disney Logic



    This will never not be funny